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Ever wonder why...we bless our children Erev Shabbat?
Ever wonder why...we bless our children erev Shabbat?
When parents bless their children it has great
significance and spiritual strength. The greatness of this seemingly
simple act is shown to us by none other than Lavan, one of the most
frightful fathers recorded in the Torah. At the end of Parashat
Vayeitzei, Lavan finally agreed to let Yaakov return to Eretz Yisrael
and take his daughters Rachel and Leah with him. The Torah tells us
that Lavan woke up early in the morning and he kissed his daughters.
The Seforno explains why the Torah went out of its way to tell us that
Lavan blessed his children. Seemingly every parent in such a
circumstance would bless their child. Additionally, although Lavan was
certainly not a Tzaddik, we know that his bracha, as with the blessing
of any commoner is to be taken seriously. Certainly the Torah had a
specific purpose to tell us Lavan’s behavior. Indeed, explains the
Seforno, these extra words are to teach us that when a parent blesses
their children with all his soul and strength it is not a bracha of a
common person anymore. Rather this emotion turns the bracha from an
ordinary bracha into a bracha that Hashem will listen to and fulfill.
The bracha given for boys asks Hashem to make our
sons like Ephraim and Menashe. This is a fulfillment of the bracha
Yaakov had blessed Ephraim and Menashe on his death bed. He blessed
them, “Through you, Yisrael will be blessed.” When Bnei Yisrael will
bless their children, the blessing will be to be like Ephraim and
Menashe. The sons of Yosef, Ephraim and Menashe were the first to be
born outside that protective home of our Avot. They grew up in a
society that was completely immoral and remained steadfast in their
Judaism. They were raised in Pharoh’s court at a time when there was no
other Jewish life in Egypt. Yet they rose to greatness. Even though
they were Yaakov’s grandsons, he made them each into a Shevet, each
receiving a portion in Eretz Yisrael with the same rights as the other
tribes. Similarly, the blessing for girls asks Hashem to make our
daughters like our Eimahot; Sarah, Rivka, Rachel and Leah. Each one of
our Eimahot grew up in a home of idol worshippers. They had the
strength to reject that way of life, surmount infertility and other
obstacles. They rose to become true Tzidkaniyot and the Matriarchs of
our nation.
The custom that many people have today to bless
their children on Shabbat night seems to be a recent one. In fact, one
of the only Halachic authorities to mention this custom is the Sefer
Chaye Adam, written by Rabbi Avraham Danzig in 1810. However, he only
mentions this custom in reference to blessing the children on Erev Yom
Kippur. The Chaye Adam explains that at this time the holiness of Yom
Kippur has already begun and the Sharrei Rachamim, the gates of mercy
are open. He continues that it is proper to say this tefilla with tears
and great emotion.
It seems to this author, that our custom has started
with Rabbi Yaakov Emdem known as the Yaavetz. The Yaavetz wrote in his
siddur, Siddur Bais Yaakov (1745-48), that parents should bless their
children on the night of Shabbat as that is when there is an outpouring
of Heavenly favor and in order to harness this we should bless our
children and let it take effect on them. The Yaavetz also writes how
this custom should be preformed. We should be careful to put both hands
on the child’s head while making the bracha. Even though in blessing
Ephraim and Menashe Yaakov put one hand on each of their heads, that
was done in order not breed jealousy between the two brothers.
Rabbi Eliezer Kessler
Houston, TX
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